I would like to announce that my summer holidays have begun! Okay, so there will still be catch ups of academic work to be done for my teaching certificate, but not the day to day grind of writing schemes of work and planning for lessons to a strict regime. And then there’s my classroom supervisor job at the tutoring scheme which still runs over the summer holidays. But still, seven weeks stretch out ahead of me full of glorious possibility.
Since March, I have been enjoying the discipline of writing and posting a poem each week for Poets United Midweek Prompt. This followed a long period of silence from my poet’s voice and a deep retreat into journalling. It seems that changing course and deciding to train as a teacher has helped me to get more balance in my life, especially as I am training part time and have more flexibility in my schedule.
I’ve been reflecting about how I have never hidden from myself more than when I was working a full time administrative job (the work I was doing immediately before I started teacher training). By the end of the working day there was nothing left: I was lost to myself. My inner spirit was an abused dog who wouldn’t come out from behind the sofa, scared that she’d get another inexplicable beating. Throughout the evening and then night, I’d slowly become renewed with rest, journalling, prayer and sleep. But then I’d be up and out of the house at 7am the next morning and have to squander myself on the same old routine all over again. I had also developed a horrendous caffeine habit that contributed to me feeling constantly drained. It has taken me many years to admit that I am too sensitive to dabble in caffeine!
So, now I’ve had another taste of creative freedom I must stand firm not to slide back. I know it means finding a way to continue to be employed ‘on the outside’ only in a part time capacity. I know for certain that a full time teaching job is no more forgiving than full time administrative work. But matching who I am on the inside with what I do on the outside is the continued goal. Now that this summer is stretching out before me I feel it is the time to be laying down the roots of the creative year to come ~ the beautiful discipline of daily photographs and a weekly poem, a blog post checking in where I am creatively, two longer stories to write that have been percolating for a month or so, compiling the poems so far into a chapbook, lazy nesting into my home and home life so it is a well oiled machine of inspiration and reflection…