From the Diary #1: Once Again

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I used to be a blogger, you know.

I used to post poems, pictures, memes, take part in community prompts.  I had a screen identity based on my family nickname.  I made friends.  I became published in print with ideas that had begun on my blog.  It was fun.  It was meaningful.  It was juicy.  At one point, it’s fair to say I was living for it.

But somewhere along my blogging journey, I began to put pressure on myself to be professional in some way which I judged that I was not.  The thought of having to perform made that performance dry up. By the end stage, blogging was a way of beating myself up for not being able to grow enough, reach out enough and be enough.

So I stopped.  I chose learning about myself away from the screen.  I chose healing the way I thought about myself.  I chose becoming stronger.  I chose life.

And now…

While snowdrops still nod, the crocuses bloom luscious with violet.  The bravest daffodils are emboldened by the sun to take a peek at March.  I am a well fed plant with strong leaves.  I sit at the window and through the glass I take in that sunshine.  I am not in flower yet, but there is a stirring.

Spring is springing once more.

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Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back...

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